20 Questions for “Olga”

May 24, 2009

Olga

"Olga"

She’s the hairdresser that inspired a nation. Well, not quite. She’s the hairdresser that kidnapped an armed robber, force fed him Viagra, and proceeded to rape him several times over the course of two days. Now, before you say “hey man, I thought you were cleaning up your whole blogging act?” please understand that this is a true story pulled from the Moscow Times. Rather than jumping to silly conclusions, this blogger would simply like to propose a few innocent questions to miss “Olga” (picture left). Olga, if you’re out there, I’d be flattered if you could answer me these questions twenty.

  1. Was it good for you?
  2. Who are your personal heroes in life?
  3. At what point did you decide, “This man will be my sex slave”? The instant he entered the salon? When you overpowered him? After you dragged him to the back room?
  4. Do you aspire to have children one day?
  5. What did you feed him? Are there standard dietary needs for captured sex slaves?
  6. Why did you pay him 1,000 ruples afterward? Would you call that “gratuity,” “compensation,” or “payment for services rendered?”
  7. If you could overpower any person, living or dead, and keep him/her as your your personal sex slave, who would it be?
  8. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Amy Poehler?
  9. At any point during the two days you kept him, did you stop and ask yourself whether this was really worth the trouble/risk/money?
  10. Was this for the attention, for the pleasure, or both?

    Olga's two-day sex slave.

    Olga's two-day sex slave.

  11. What was the reaction of your employer regarding your actions? If you’re the manager, would you expect your employees to take similar action should another armed robber threaten your establishment?
  12. Are you a vegan?
  13. How did your last relationship end?
  14. Place in order of level of experience, least to longest: cooking, hairdressing, rape, self-defense, kidnapping.
  15. Would you have any advice for an aspiring hairdresser-dominatrix?
  16. What kind of characteristics would your ideal sex slave have? Are these the same as or different from the characteristics of your ideal mate?
  17. Why two  days? Then again, why only two days?
  18. Hypothetically, what would you charge to show up at a bachelor party?
  19. Did you already have the Viagra with just such a scenario in mind, or did you have to purchase it when it became a necessity?
  20. Finally, to quote Ocean’s Eleven:

“…what we’re trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time?”

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