“Hey what’s the mileage on that hybrid car?”

November 25, 2009

Door logo of koffi cafe

I don't want to be that guy, but someone needs to tell them about their little spelling snafu.

I’ve been told many times that Portlanders seem to have a certain, lets say, “hatred” of Californians moving to their beloved city. I find this somewhat strange since Portland essentially wishes it was San Francisco and since California has been quietly plucking coffee-related ideas from their Northwest neighbors. Okay, okay, so California isn’t copying the Northwest, but It’s just interesting to see a place like the koffi cafe in Palm Springs being praised for providing the the standard amenities that should be found any non-franchise coffee shop. Locally roasted coffee, sustainability, free WiFi, artwork by local artists on the walls. Did I somehow get on a plane for two hours only to land back in the the Northwest?

Berry tea by the lake.

Sippin' my berry tea thing next to the "pond." Am I with it or what?

No, because this place is clean. They’ve also got this trendy misspelling + lowercase letters thing going on that I’m not sure I’m cool with. Whereas in New York and Vegas they frequently miss the mark entirely, California takes the standard coffee shop core and dresses it up like a UCLA art history graduate student. Even my darling Elevated Coffee doesn’t look this good, and that’s about the classiest damned coffee shop in the greater Northeast Portland area. Not only that, but the folks chillaxin with their MacBook Pros in the koffi cafe actually dress like they could afford them. In the words of Mark Whalberg: “What’s that all about?”

Californians needs to take lessons on being degenerate from Portlanders. Pretentiousness doesn’t just sell itself.

Anyways, I’m taking my MacBook over to Tully’s and getting a Green Tea Latte to sip while I work on my novel. Ciao.

“Dolce Gabbana, don’t you know
Soy latte, shade-grown”
-Hot Buttered Rum


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