Wake up your eggs.

January 29, 2010

When you don’t watch television regularly…who am I kidding? Even if you do watch television regularly, commercials are bizarre. It’s been a while since I’ve done a commercianalysis, and nothing depicts the cultural sinkhole that is Western society quite like commercials for processed meat.

In a world of anthropomorphic food, a Ben-Stein-esque egg takes roll of a class of bored, monotone student-eggs, all of whom are perplexingly named “Egg.” Suddenly and without warning, club dance music begins playing, a disco ball lowers, and a can of spam bursts into the room, supposedly to liven up the classroom. Two adolescent eggs collide with one-another in celebration(?), cracking and supposedly inflicting mortal wounds, which may or may not correlate to the image of a plate of scrambled eggs and cooked spam, which morbidly follows. Given the imagery, I can only surmise that the Spam company is pushing the idea to children that the addition of spam makes being cooked alive an attractive alternative to grade school.

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