Take that, SkyNet.

September 28, 2010

Sweet Cream Cafe sign

Sweet Cream Cafe: No Robots Allowed

If you recall, a few weeks back I gave Starbucks a vicious tongue-lashing for having the gall to offer-free internet when they’ve been ballsy enough to make folks pay for it for years. Only days ago I came across an establishment that can claim to be even ballsier than Starbucks once was.

Now, let it be known that I’ve never actually purchased any food or drink from Sweet Cream Café. I saw the cute little no computers decal on the door and realized that not only would I be unable to check my email, but I couldn’t even remove my computer from its bag. I stepped in and double checked with the owner who kindly but sternly echoed the sentiment on the door. “No computers.” I sheepishly placed a hand over my computer bag, backed out of the door and muttered something about a phone call. One thought and one thought only immediately came to mind:

Awesome. Just plain awesome.

I did not for a second (Okay, okay. That’s a lie. I did for about two seconds) think ill of the establishment for banning my most beloved non-wife companion from their place of business. After all, this is a place for food, drink, chattin, and chillaxin’. None of that millennial twitterin’ or myspacin’ , or facebookin’ or whatever other porn-related nonsense goes on in that decadent digital world. If you want to be welcome in the Sweet Cream Café, you must be a peripheral-free human. No add-ons.

Our world doesn’t need more spineless corporate giants disgracing themselves by handing out free internet as if to say, “We’re not so bad. Here’s some internet!” With one sticker on the door, Sweet Cream Café says, “Internet? You don’t even bring your computer in here, let alone the internet.”

Go to Sweet Cream Café, order some food (but not coffee, because the web reviews haven’t been good on that front), and…um…read a book or something.

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